How to Write a To-Do List

  1. shower
  2. make breakfast
  3. go for a run
  4. answer emails
  5. call regarding health insurance
  6. clean desk
  7. do the dishes
  8. take out the trash
  9. avoid my psychotic neighbor
  10. water the plants
  11. make sure the plants know I love them
  12. go on a long walk
  13. get in four hours of work
  14. try to find shapes in the stucco ceiling
  15. contemplate how coca cola is made
  16. feel a little shitty
  17. realize everything is going to be okay
  18. tell all your friends you love them
  19. put 50 things in your shopping cart on amazon and then abandon it
  20. hide important documents somewhere you won’t find them
  21. charge your phone
  22. realize your phone isn’t charging
  23. charge your phone better
  24. make the bed
  25. lay on your stomach with your feet up criss-cross while you read a book
  26. make dinner
  27. forget to make dinner and order pizza
  28. write a lengthy journal update about how horrible pizza makes you feel
  29. make some tea and turn on netflix
  30. doodle passive-aggressive comics directed at people you dislike
  31. watch hannibal with your hands over your eyes
  32. respond to your inevitably full inbox
  33. get a sudden inspiration to do everything on your to do list
  34. realize its eleven o’clock
  35. fall asleep face first in the carpet fibers
How to Write a To-Do List